I saw a post that a friend of mine had shared on facebook that started “To the girl who moved away from her family…” I wanted to talk about it and share the point of the message because it is something I can relate to. I shared in a previous post Stumbling Into Love about how I met my boyfriend and moved from New York to Tennessee. I do NOT regret my choice and I do NOT want this post to be perceived that way but I do want to talk about the emotions that can come with any new adventure in life.
I have always been a very emotional person (anyone who knows me can attest to that). I’m talking Swffer commercials make me cry emotional. Anyway, this type of move could be emotional for anyone and I think my feelings were exacerbated because as some might say (myself included) that I can be probably overly emotional. However, I do not view that as a negative thing by any means because my emotions have led me to make some of the best decisions of my life. I know the whole “think before you speak and act” saying but I tend to do the opposite. I’m more of a follow your heart rather than your head kind of girl. Not to say that I don’t use my head but I heavily lean with what my heart has to say. I always have been and have not once regretted that about myself because as I said, following my heart has lead to really wonderful things. My boyfriend included.
Before finding my current boyfriend, I was married. He was from New York as well and when we were talking about jobs that he was looking at, I had told him that I didn’t want to be more than five hours from my dad. I didn’t think I could handle being away from my family, especially my dad. I think that my saying that was probably a sign that maybe we weren’t right for each other anyway but at the time I didn’t think it was an unreasonable request and he was super close to his family who lived in the same area as mine anyway so why would we want to move? After meeting my current boyfriend, he asked me about a month and a half after we began talking if I wanted to move in with him. It sounds crazy, we had just started talking met about a month after that and he wanted me to move in with him. My heart was pounding with excitement. I started smiling and I couldn’t stop at the prospect of getting to see him everyday, waking up with him next to me every morning and seeing his smile every night before I fell asleep. That was all I needed to know, my heart and emotions had made the decision, I said yes immediately.
As I said before, I have not once regretted the decision but that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss home. My first home, my new home is here with him, and I do truly love it. I know some people feel differently about their “home”. Some people don’t get along with their family and are happy to move away, some get along with their family but don’t consider it their home anymore, and some feel the way I do. I love my family and still consider it my home in a sense that it is where I came from and where all my early memories were made. I am not going to abandon that just because I moved. However, I also consider where I live now to be my home because they say “home is where your heart is” and my heart is certainly here.
This time of year is especially when a lot of feelings are brought up because it is typically a time spent with family and all the traditions you have with them. I have always loved my family traditions and I didn’t get to do all of them last year but my boyfriend and I did go to my dad’s and spent Christmas in New York so I still got to do some of them. This year however, we will be here in Tennessee and spending Christmas with his family.
I love his family and I’m very excited to spend Christmas with them and my boyfriend. While I do miss my family and those traditions I have also come to realize that it can be a new exciting time to start new traditions with my boyfriend here. Just because there isn’t snow and we don’t have a Christmas Eve party at my dad’s or I don’t get to see my family on Christmas doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy and start new traditions or be a part of old ones with my boyfriend and his family.
My point of this post is that like the end of the post above says “It’s okay to miss home”. It’s hard to move away from everything you’ve ever known and it’s okay to miss it. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love and appreciate where/what/who you have now. It doesn’t mean that you made a wrong choice. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have mixed feelings. It means that emotions and feelings are a part of life and sometimes starting a new chapter in life is going to be a mixed bag.
I do want to point out that I haven’t been to the point of breaking down in my bathroom yet but I have had days where it’s really hard and I do cry. Although, I cry on a pretty regular basis anyways for many different reasons. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad. But my point again, especially this time of year, no matter where you are in life and who you are spending it with, embrace the feelings that come up. It’s all a part of it. I wouldn’t change my life for anything in the world and I’m so lucky that I have my boyfriend by my side who loves me and supports me and understands how emotional I am and helps me through it.
So to all reading Merry Christmas and stay tuned for tomorrow when I share a cocktail recipe that I am going to try tonight. It is Christmas themed.